An announcement

Eleven years ago, I was teaching at an alternative high school and loved it and hated it.  Because of that experience, I wanted to be a foster mother…to which my sweet Darren swore he would never agree.  We did, however agree that we are terribly blessed with love and with a depth of understanding of the value of the soul of a child that we could not keep these blessings back from the world.  Fast forward eleven years and we are the proud and grateful parents of 6 beautiful, healthy children.  We are now expecting our seventh at the very opening of the year 2015. 

How do I feel about this?  I am elated, terrified and very grateful.  I am also a tiny bit angry and a little embarrassed.  (more on those feelings will likely come on days that are hard...if I decide to post it) Once I heard an adult I trusted tell me not to worry about the judgements others may be making about me, because they probably aren’t even thinking about me enough to make any sort of judgement.  In case that was a lie, let me say a few words:   

1- I am older than I was, but this is a healthy pregnancy so far and I’m being very careful. 2- We DO, I will agree to those that may be thinking this, sometimes struggle to keep the current six rugrats under control, but I firmly know that we are still doing the right thing. All six of our babies know that they are loved, cared for and have more than enough to be obligated to share their blessings and talents with the world.  3- We have so many children and so many of you are not so blessed and wish for even one or two.  I sometimes feel selfish about that.  I want your dreams to come true, too.  I pray for you to find dreams that fit the joy you need to have each day.  4- If, by chance, you feel slighted that you are receiving the announcement of our current pregnancy by this lovely and very public arena of my blog, feel free to call, text, or visit.  I chose to do it this way because I have not always had the most positive reactions to my more personal one-on-one prenatal announcements in the past and this seemed like a less emotionally painful way to do this.  I am happy and hope that those who care will find a way to be happy with me and let me know.  Those who are not happy with me can keep it to themselves or post it here on my blog, but will not be forced to give me a reaction in person.

My Mission

I love my planner.  I write in it every night and refer to it multiple times throughout each day.  I should be so diligent with my scripture study.  One thing I love is that the Franklin Covey planner walks you through creating a personal mission statement.  Of course, I went through the exercise years ago when I first got a planner.  But, I have re-visited the mission statement creation a couple times since then.  Right now, I like the Mission Statement I created about eight years ago and I haven’t really altered it since. 

My Personal Mission Statement:

I do not know how long my time in mortality will be, but I hope it to be around a century.  I hope to use this 100 years to bring miracles into the world.

My first miracle will always be the miracle of Love – loving people for whom they are and for whom I know they can become.

My next miracle will be Life – I long to bring life into the world.  Through children, through gardens and through living life to the fullest I hope I will add Life to this world.

The following miracle will be Growth – learning, changing, progressing, improving, perfecting.  These will always be the mission.  So, I will push myself and those around me to Grow.

Next is the miracle of Strength – strength of mind, body and spirit that will help me and others to accept the things that come and act in a way that shows more Love.

Finally is the miracle of Freedom – I will give myself and others room to receive outside guidance and to act in a way that truly maximizes free agency.

Re-typing this mission statement has already helped me to re-focus on the goals and vision I have for my life.  Now, I must make sure it is the vision the Lord has for my life…

What is a Mormon Mom?

I am a Mormon mom...What is that?!  In my mind, this doesn't just mean that I will have children until I pop, be endlessly incredibly crafty and sing Primary songs all day with my brood.  I do want a lot of children, but that is a personal decision, partially based on my faith.  I do try to keep our house bright and cheerful and occasionally punctuated by my efforts at craft-creation and we sing quite a bit, mostly because I have for many years lived with the belief that, if I can't make time to go be in a musical, I might as well make my life a musical.

But, I mostly believe that being a Mormon mom, means that, as a mother to my children, I need to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.  I need to look at their faces and remember that they are temporary gifts to me and that I could have no greater treasure and no greater joy than to see them find the joy of living according to principles of truth.  I need to remember that when they seem to continuously destroy my efforts at cleanliness and order, or when they seem to resist my efforts to teach them the joy of hard work, they are subject to my strength or weakness at that moment.  I get to choose to respond in a reactionary moment of temporal anger or to swallow, pray really fast and teach them that they are always loved because they are mine and because they are His. 

This morning, I woke to find that much of the progress I had made in my efforts to clean out the basement, in hopes that we can soon complete it, were masterfully dismantled in very little time by my high energy crew.  Fortunately it was early, so I didn't need to worry about the angels watching what I would do.  To my surprise, I genuinely felt love for the rascals and vandals who did the messy deeds and had no foul words to suppress.  The Lord really does give us moments of grace as we try to progress.  But, I also had some angry thoughts and discouragement. 

Being a Mormon mom is looking for the moments of Grace and realizing that those moments are our only Salvation.  We will one day have children in therapy and they will, in those counseling sessions, blame their Mormon mothers.  But, I know that my Savior knows my heart and that he sees that I am trying to be a disciple even to...and especially to my sweet six children.